It would be nice to fulfill the Big purpose of your life, but at least you got to achieve the minimum purpose.
Big purpose is some great goal outside of boundaries of human life, something related to future goals of the society. Minimum purpose is just all about current and future goals of you and your family.
Here is the purpose map.
Personal survival is straightforward. Just watch you physical, financial and psychological health, and you gonna be Ok.
For physical health, do physical exercises, eat healthy food, stay away from "controlled substances", tobacco and alcohol, sleep as much as your body needs, and so on. Your physician might give you some more handy advises.
For psychological health, watch you mood, concentrate on solutions rather than on problems, think positively, and do not allow yourself to fall into depression.
For financial health, have a stable income source and make savings.
Avoid unnecessary risk, and have good friends who will help you when you are in trouble.
Do not give up when you face a problem, have "fight and win" attitude.
It also benefits to study logical fallacies to resist brainwashing. Being brainwashed into a weird cult or sect should not be in your wish list.
At the same time, you got to get married, and raise kids. Your kids shall raise their kids too, and so on.
There are some minimum requirements to the spouse - he or she shall be:
- able to negotiate, find solutions, make agreements and stick to promises
- have a solution-seeking mindset
- do not have major health problem and bad habits. Shall be able to have kids.
Those requirements immediately illuminate drug addicts, conflict persons, as well as everyone who is unreliable and irresponsible.
But requirements are even more strict indeed. Your kids are going to inherit genetic code of your spouse. Your spouse will be a role model for your kids. Guess where they will copy their views and habits from.
Finding the right spouse does not look easy in general. With these requirements, it becomes almost impossible task. Don't worry. You can do it. Start with setting a clear goal, and making a commitment to reach it. Be patient; make a plan on a paper and stick to it.
- learn basic dating techniques
- narrow the search area by eliminating unfits
- spend more time in the "right" places, and spend less in "wrong" ones (both in the real World and Internet) (do I need to explain, that gym is the right one, while first-person shooters online community is not?)
It also benefits when they find you rather than you find them. You do not have to become a movie star, but being active, like, volunteer to organize events, is good. The more people see you, the better your chances are.
Now you need make this person interested in you. You got to study his or her system of values, circle of interest, and find connection points. It also helps to make a good impression at the person's friends.
If the person is really the right one, you are likely to get married and have kids. Well, not that fast. If you have psychological problems, you better take care of them upfront. Otherwise you are likely to try solving them on your kids with disastrous consequences for them. Remember, you need healthy kids, both physically and emotionally. Their psychological problems shall not prevent them from achieving their minimum purpose.
Should you try to raise kids as a single parent? Well, you can try to raise one kid. Raising more is big challenge. On the other hand, single parent's kids are have higher chance of psychological problems and can have hard time building their family. Besides, two parents can teach their kids better than one. Therefore, you got to do your best to keep your partner happy, to resolve conflicts, and to maintain good relationships. Divorce is a very bad thing, especially for kids.
How about being a Casanova? Some people trying to make as many kids as possible from different partners, and let these partners to raise them. Isn't it a good idea? Unfortunately, it is not. Humans are not birds. Birds do not have to teach nestlings to build a nest - it is in instincts. Human kids, on the other hand, are fruits of education and upbringing. In the other words, you can do it, but they will not be your kids. They will have nothing to do with your minimum purpose. Besides, chances are - they will hate you.
How about adopted kids? It looks like it is better, than if someone will raise yours, However, if you can choose, remember, that raising your own kids is much more fun.
Degeneration is the main strategic threat. You might invest lots of efforts into your kids, but if your grandson is irresponsible dolt who is not going to raise his kids, or drug addicts, or just commit suicide, all your efforts are in vane. You shall teach your kids to stick to their minimum purpose, and explain them, that their main obligations are not obligations to you, but obligations to the kids they are going to have. Every time they make their choices, their future kids shall be the main criteria.
Check out the purpose map.